I will have a blog post about IlluxCon coming up soon, but I wanted to get this one out there first.
Every once in a while, the universe teaches you a lesson and if you’re paying attention, you can learn a whole lot in a short moment of time.
First things first, I have to let you in on a little piece of my personality. Without being hokey about it, the gist is that I believe in “you get what you give”, in all aspects of life. In this particular case, it has to do with vibes you put out into the atmosphere. (http://youtu.be/ZNLNeHySon0) If you put negative vibes or energy or juju out into the universe, negative shit will come back to you. It’s not 100% and sometimes there are flukes and anomalies, but for the most part in my experience, it’s a pretty steady thing.
There’s a person in my circles of whom everyone knows, and there are some who have said very negative things about them. As much as I am pretty good at ignoring people’s opinions about others, I allowed myself to be open to this particular brand of hate pheromones. I knew better but I’m human. Studies show that allowing yourself to dwell in negativity is very much like dabbling in narcotics. It releases toxic but pleasurable chemicals in your brain and makes you feel good for about .002 seconds. So, the toxins were released and I let them meander around in my mind.
Fast forward to an inside joke that started to develop between myself and a very close friend. Well, now I had someone who could joke and laugh with me about this other person like a couple of catty little Mean Girls, always behind this person’s back. I’m not proud of this at all and I knew every moment that I needed to turn this hate train around on the tracks.
Yesterday, the universe illustrated to me that the little quiet voice warning me to cut the shit was right all along. Now, I don’t know if it’s coincidence or if word got back to this person that I’ve been a massive ass cactus behind their back, and I sincerely hope it was just a stern warning from Universe.
Another good friend was talking in a group of three with the person, and I decided to basically try to make contact and be a not-dick. The very second I walked up, the person excused themself and walked away.
You know that feeling when you walk into a room and conversation ceases? And you’re suddenly filled with self doubt and dread? That was me. I felt like absolute horse shit.
Again, very likely that I’m projecting and it was not intentional, but I’d rather not chance it. My lesson, of which I had already been reminded numerous times throughout the week by nearly everyone was this: Don’t be a dick. – Wil Wheaton
I was being a dick. A massive jerk for no good reason AT ALL.
So, how do I fix this? Welp, I’m going to march my ass up to this person and introduce myself. This person has put good information about this industry out there, of which I’ve benefited, so I will thank this person for that and I will hope. I will hope that my Universe Warning was just that and that I haven’t torched a bridge that I hadn’t even had the opportunity to meander across.
Wish me luck.